Yes Minister (of State for Energy Security and Net Zero)

'Good morning Minister.'

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'Not really Humphrey. I didn't sleep very well last night. Lots of dreams about big blue engines crashing into white cubes. Can you think where that came from?'

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'Minister, Bernard is booking you a new hotel as we speak, and will arrange for your belongings to be transferred.'

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'Thank you Humphrey. You appear to be in a good mood yourself this morning, I don't normally hear you humming tunes from Les Mis.'

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'Oh I was just remembering it from the performance.. I mean radio last night Minister.'

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'Really. Well about todays vote in East Yorkshire regarding a GDF in my constituency. It was on the  BBC local news this morning. It looks like the protestors have professionally made banners, I was  expecting cardboard and sheets.'

 

'Yes Minister, they do contiue to be well organised, and according to our own public relations team they have kept a very tight message.'

 

'Tight message - is that good.'

 

'Yes Minister, normaly protest groups divide on nichce issues. In this instance, those also wanting to shut down nuclear power stations, or to stop Trident. Those splits normally result in in-fighting and the group's message, focus, and therefore influence becomes less.'

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'And that hasn't happened here?'

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'No Minister. They have a single message that they just do not want the GDF in South Holderness because they love the place. Even the NWS people say that we underestimated how quickly they could move.'

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'So, Humphrey do you think the council will withdraw?'

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'Sadly it seems likely Minister, but you never know one of the councillors may table a postponement of the vote.'

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'Can they do that?'

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'Excuse me Minister, Sir Humphrey.'

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'Yes Bernard what is it?'

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'We may have a problem Minister.'

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'Yes Bernard?'

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'Well Minister you know that ever since the proposed GDF in South Holderness was announced we have been receiving lots of enquiries.'

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'Yes.'

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'And since people realised it was their own member of parliament that was responsible, those numbers have trebled.'

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'Bernard, the Minister is not responsible for the selection of the site of the GDF, but as a Minister he is responsible for the energy security.'

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'Sorry Sir Humphrey, Minister. Well as usual in these situations, we  produced a standard letter which explained that as Minister you couldn't respond personally, but emphasised that the consent of the people would be required, and then there were several ready-made paragraphs to address particular issues such as safety and earthquakes. It finishes with the positive prospects for employment if the site is selected for a GDF. I have a copy of a letter we sent to a member of the South Holderness protest group, and one for you for Sir Humphrey.'

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'Thank you Bernard. very comprehensive, pleasant and informative. What is the problem?'

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'Well it's the last line Minister, after we illustrate all the potential roles such as engineering, science and technical  trades, operations and business functions that might be available as employment, we say seventy-five percent of roles are estimated to be for candidates with qualifications equivalent to A-level or below.'

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'Sounds very sensible. Acessible jobs for all.'

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'Ah Minister, I think I see.'

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'Yes Humphrey?'

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'Minister it might be taken that we don't think that the population of South Holderness is generally well qualified, and therefore only suitable for lower-skilled and by implication, lower-paid roles.'

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'Oh, but that's not the intention is it? There are certainly some in my constituency I wouldn't want to handle a scratch card, let alone nuclear waste, but they are not all thick.'

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'No Minister, but it could be read that way.'

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'So we change it. Bernard,has anyone has noticed?'

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'Yes Minister. The leader of the protest group. She sent an email which is quite, assertive.'

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'What does it say Bernard?'

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'Well I won't read it all Minister, but with respect to the letter she says It just demonstrates a lack of knowledge of the cultural, educational and economic capital of the residents of South Holderness. Why would you think any different, when it is quite clear that plans to dump nuclear waste in "the north" shows again the contempt of southerners in government towards us?''

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'She can't say that, I'm from the North, aren't I Humphrey.'

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'But Minister, most of your department aren't, and I am certain the protest group will be telling their councillors of the letter ahead of the vote.'

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'So we have to await the meeting then. Bernard did you say it was being streamed?'

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'Yes Minister on YouTube, I will email you the link, two o-clcok.'

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'Thank you both. Bernard get me the Leader of East Riding Council on the phone I think we need a chat.'

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'Yes Minister.

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'By the way Humphrey, that tune you were humming as you came in, was it Do you hear the people sing?'

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'Yes, I believe it was Minister.'